For years now after my marriage, all I did after dinner was to plop on the couch with the remote and laptop and in more recent times the smart phone too. I would generally channel surf watching the same reruns of Raymond and Seinfield while checking my mail a million times and browse online more as an online window shopper. It was the same routine all days we were home. I even refused to watch the news or something more informative as my brain was lazy and did not want to process anything. In the more recent years I switched to netflix and started watching movies in bits and pieces or sometimes a whole movie too staying up late. And inevitably everyday i would fall asleep on the couch and my husband would wake me and get me to go upstairs to bed. I would walk up groggy eyed and just fall asleep. No brushing my teeth nothing. And every morning I would wake up feeling bad that I hadnt brushed my teeth. And when I sat in the dentist’s chair to fill those cavities, it would hurt literally, and mentally too. I knew it took a minute to brush and I knew I could spare the minute before I sat down on the couch or even after watching TV if i really made up my mind, but I never was able to. That night after coming back from the dentist, i would brush but well, it generally stopped after that.
I wondered what really stopped me? Why couldn’t I motivate myself to do even a simple task like brushing? Why did the couch and the TV seem to have limitless appeal to me in the night time? And I could draw parallels to other areas of my life too. There were some things that I always wanted to do or explore, but was never able to. There was a final hump that I could never overcome. So what holds us back really and truly? I’ve seen and heard people say that when something truly matters to you, you will move mountains to make it happen. I felt that way about the things that I was trying to acheive. My teeth did matter quite a lot to me considering my love for food and chocolates and all things sweet. Why could I never stop myself from eating that Belgian cookie or the kids candies or make a wise choice with my food when I know that I value life and health…I pondered for a long time.
Know your WHAT and know your WHY is a common thing people say to do something successfully and feel motivated. I knew my list of WHATs and I knew my WHYs too and some of them were compelling too. But why wasn’t I taking action? What was still holding me back? After ruminating about it, I realized that my WHY was not strong enough, it was strong and compelling, but not strong and compelling enough to get me off the couch or to start brushing or to start making healthy choices. I was always tempted to let it go this one time. Just today I will not brush and just today its ok to eat cookies or just today its ok not to exercise. I can do it tomorrow… But that today was everyday and the tomorrow never happened. For me, it had to be a hard push, a hard shove, an almost life or death kind of situation to force me to take action.
By now, most of us know that whatever we are and what we can become is all in the power of our minds. What we think, we become. So the trick is to leverage this power house that each of us have to help us move past our barriers. Use your mind to overcome the barriers in your mind. Sounds crazy, well read on, its not. The mind gradually believes what it is told to believe – told includes seeing, reading, the whole gamut:) So the trick is to trick the mind into believing its a life-death situation every night when I needed to brush my teeth. I found it ridiculous to think that way for brushing my teeth but was game to try it. I started doing it. The first night I told myself that if I did not brush I was going to be unable to get up in the morning and psyched myself into believing it. And brushed..!! The next night I talked myself into believing that I would suffer a heartattack..And brushed! I did it every night until it became a habit. Research says that it takes 21 consecutive days of doing something for it to become a habit. I’ll be honest, it took me less than that, around 2 weeks. The fact that it was something that mattered to me and I knew why it mattered to me along with tricking my mind for a little bit helped me to get off the couch atleast for a few minutes to brush my teeth. I was then able to extend that to my couch potato syndrome. Once I was up to brush my teeth, I forced myself to not go back to the couch but to walk up to the bed and fall asleep in the bed instead of falling asleep on the couch. It not only helped in setting a good bedtime routine but resulted in significantly improving the the quality of my sleep.
Takeaway: To get over that final little bump in your mind that stops you from doing something, force yourself to think its a DO or DIE situation. Trick your mind into believing it to the point you can take action. Practice doing it until whatever you need to do becomes second nature to you. Try it and let me know how it works for you.
P.S: Clients reported it worked even when they had to overcome fear of talking to strangers, public speaking situations, and other things.
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