Yesterday, I was talking to a client and one of the issues that pops up for her often is her wavering self-confidence. This time around she asked me a different question, “what can i do to increase my self-confidence now and keep it high for a long time to come”. The topic of self-confidence comes up time and again for all of us.
Self-confidence is a very important trait and can make or break our lives. Self- confidence is the ability to trust and believe in oneself without an ounce of self-doubt. It boils down to that little voice in our head that tells us yes you can do it, you are capable or not you shouldn’t do it or you are not capable and so on..I am not particularly fond of referring to it as low and high confidence and instead like to refer to it as stronger or weaker levels of self-confidence.The game of confidence all boils down to teaching that voice in our heads to sing the right positive tune and sing it right every time.
Here are some time tested strategies and tips and tools for upping your self-confidence level to make it ever-lasting. Like with all mind related work, these tools and strategies will produce results only if they are ingrained in the DNA of your being and that begins with consciously practicing it until it becomes a habit and then becomes a part of your being.
The power of affirmations
Affirmations are simple positive specific statements written in the present tense with the sole purpose of changing one’s thoughts. These sentences help in strengthening and reinforcing beliefs you need. Affirmations practiced faithfully have been proven to rewire the brains and help us break negative thought patterns. The best thing about affirmations is that there is no limit to the number of affirmations you can create and say and each affirmation can be unique for you and for the thought pattern you are trying to break. The key to finding success with affirmations is to repeating the affirmations on a consistent basis, preferably multiple times and saying it with conviction and meaning and believing in every word of the affirmation when you say it. Give it a power boost by standing in front of the mirror and saying these affirmations as you look at yourself. Some examples of affirmations for boosting self-confidence are:
– I have confidence in my ability to do whatever I set my mind to;
– I am discovering more wonderful things about myself with each passing day;
– I truly like myself and this helps others to accept me for who I am;
– I believe in myself completely; I believe that I can achieve anything I want
– My ability to conquer my challenges is limitless; my potential to succeed is infinite.
– I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring.
Awareness of your strengths
Not many of us have consciously taken time to understand our own strengths. Being aware of own’s one strength is an important tool in boosting self-confidence. There are many online resources and books to help you find your own strengths. StrengthFinder 2.0 is a great book and also provides an online assessment to identify your top strengths. You will be surprised at how spot on it is. The key again for success with this strategy is to identify your strengths and constantly remind yourself about them. Make a a list of these strengths and keep them in a handy spot like your wallet or your work desk and or your mirror. That way you can constantly remind yourself of your strengths and play to your strengths. Playing to your strengths will help in making you feel confident about your abilities and provide a constant boost.
Past successes
“The more you acknowledge your past successes, the more confident you become in taking on and successfully accomplishing new ones” – Jack Canfield. Jack captures the essence of this strategy perfectly with this above quote. Even small successes are successes to be noted and celebrated. Every small step that is accomplished towards a major goal is still a step to be celebrated. Sometimes we are so lost in reaching the end goal, we forget to acknowledge the little steps that we take and the little achievements we reach on our path to the goal. Each of these successes from your past should be resurrected in your memory often, serving as a reminder about your abilities and again injecting boosts of confidence into your system.
Gratitude
In today’s fast paced society we are generally lost in the daily grind of life and the tendency is to focus on the negative and the bad things that make life a challenge at times, and we forget to think about and appreciate the positive. Appreciating each and every small blessing in our lives becomes a task taken for granted and we even forget that those little blessings are in fact blessings that make our life beautiful in some way. Another great habit to inculcate in our lives is the habit of making time to be grateful. Start a gratitude journal and spend 2-3 minutes every night thankful for 3-5 things in your life. Write it down. The power of the written word has been constantly proven to be stronger than the spoken. What you are grateful for every night need not be something profound. Small things like the smell of freshly baked cookies, to hugs from your kids, to big things like a promotion at work, or an hour of uninterrupted reading could be things to be thankful for. Some days, I am just thankful to be alive and healthy and kicking. There is no limit to the number of things you can be grateful for. Make this a daily habit and see a tremendous change in your attitude to people and life and also see the confidence surging ahead when you realize what a great life you have.
Whats the worst that can happen?
Often times, that little voice in our heads stops us from doing something and questions us with “am I sure, does this make sense for me, am i capable of this, do i know all i need to know to do a good job, what if i don’t succeed, what if ppl laugh at me” and so on. And thats when maybe asking a simple question like “Whats the worst that can happen” may offer a different perspective and a potential way to turn that voice off. Sometimes just going down the path of asking the question – whats the worst that can happen and then answering it and then asking so what helps in bringing awareness to the fact that most times the fear is only in our head and what we actually fear is nothing to anybody, especially those fears that involve what others think. Try the ‘whats the worst that can happen’ tactic the next time that little voice in your head starts asking questions.
Preparation
For certain tasks, just preparing well ahead of time itself soothes that voice in the head and prevents it from popping up. Preparing for a speech that you do not feel confident delivering, or a meeting with the boss or anything that can be prepared for is definitely a surefire tactic to increase self-confidence.
Thank you to compliments
When someone compliments you for anything – for your work, the way you did something, the way you said something or simply for the way you look, how do you react? Do you shrug it off and say it was nothing or I am not sure why I was given this award, I don’t deserve it, I just got lucky this time around…all these are indicators of weakened self-confidence. You do not believe enough in yourself to accept that compliment. Change out that thinking and start accepting compliments graciously. When given a compliment learn to say thank you comfortably, and say thank you for recognizing my efforts or thank you for your support. It is a display of belief in yourself which repeated consciously over a period of time begins to deeply seat itself in your mind and leads to stronger levels of confidence.
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