Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/15664662@N02/19097144604
All of us have been there at some point. We’ve looked at someone we know and felt a tiny bit of jealousy or wondered how they got it all going for them.
Moms have looked at other moms and felt that twinge. How does she do it all? How does she manage to go to work, and workout and take the kids to class and etc etc..
Professionals at work have wondered how someone seems to be climbing the ladder so quickly or getting opportunities that they have been vying for.
Job seekers look in despair at their friends who are not looking for a job, land a golden opportunity out of nowhere! What am I doing wrong? Why does this job evade me? Sounds all too familiar?..
Comparison is an uninvited guest who shows up often into our mind.
It may not be possible to keep the door shut on this guest always. There are times when this guest coaxes their way in. The problem with this guest is it can leave us feeling drained mentally, lowers our self-esteem at times and makes you forget about all that you have going for you and your capabilities.
How does this apply to you, your business, your career or any other aspect of your life?
Firstly, be aware. When you see/hear about your colleague’s promotion or salary hike, recognize the feelings that arise. When you see the fellow sales guy rock his commissions for the month recognize the feeling. When you see a fellow business get all the fame and recognition that you have been hoping for, RECOGNIZE AND ACKNOWLEDGE your feelings.
Think about the iceberg illusion as shown in the picture. Recognize the possibility of things under the surface for the other person. The sweat and hardwork, self doubt and defeat, the 10,000 small baby steps they may have taken to get there.
Still have thoughts that arise? such as ‘I’ve done all that too, where is my fame, where is my sales, where is my promotion, where is my success”?
Few suggestions to tackle this:
– Reframe those thoughts into possible learning moments. What can I learn from this person and implement towards my growth and success?Can I reach out to this person and genuinely acknowledge their success and get a few pointers?
– Step in their shoes! Acknowledge all the stuff below the surface and truly feel happy for them.
– Look at how far you have come along. Every step you have taken, however small it may be is a step forward in the direction you seek to go in. You will get there!!
Remember, their definition of success may be completely different from yours!! They may be vying/aiming for something else and achieved all these as a by product. “You never know” what is going on with someone and how easy or difficult their path has been.
Last but not the least, be grateful. Gratitude is a powerful tool that helps the universe bring to us what we need. Express gratitude for your journey and experiences and for everything you have done/achieved so far.
Has this illusion occurred in your life? How have you overcome it? Would love to hear..
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