Have you have heard of the Golden Handcuffs? Golden handcuffs refer to the pay , benefits and any other perks that a person receives at their workplace that prevent them aka keep them ‘handcuffed‘ to their job and the workplace. Many of you may be able to relate to it. You work at a firm and after a point you feel bored, dissatisfied, not challenged and maybe stuck. You want to find a different job in the same workplace or move to a different company all together but you are not able to give up on the established routine, the flexible hours and maybe the vending machine in the cafeteria! The commute is perfect right now and you feel uncomfortable disrupting the status quo.
I have been through it multiple times in my corporate career. I distinctly remember at one workplace, I lived a mile from my work. My colleagues were laid-back and I had settled into a good routine. For almost a year before I finally left there, I went through intense periods of boredom and feeling unchallenged. My career was not growing, I was not learning any new skills and I was not leveraging any of my strengths. But I was not ready to give up the short commute! I could even walk to my work, which is not a common site in the suburbs I was living in then. It took a lot of internal pushing to get me out of there. I did quit there and pursued my MBA after that. Flash forward and I was soon working at a place where the commute was 35 miles one way from my residence! This translates to an 1.5 commute each in Atlanta traffic! When after a few years, the same feelings of stuckness and not being challenged arose, I hung on for dear life. I was ready to spend 3-4 hours a day in the car, just to not change the status quo.
But I did turn that state around. I did move away from that job as well.
Its the visceral reaction to change that we are reacting to. Change of any kind is always uncomfortable. It makes us feel queasy and squirmy. It leads to a volley of ‘buts’ and ‘nos’ and a torrent of excuses as to why that change should not happen. The comforting thing to know though is – this squirmy feeling is NATURAL. That is the way are brains are wired. Amygdala is a small area in our brains that evokes the flight or fight response. This was particularly useful for our ancestors when they had to protect themselves from enemies and animals etc. When their safety was threatened, they either indulged in ‘fight’ing with the enemy or took ‘flight’. Luckily, we do not face such fight or flight situations now. However, whenever the status quo is challenged or we are stressed, our brain perceives it as a threat and tries to evoke the same flight or fight. This in modern times translates to all the excuses and resistance we put up to change. So how can we overcome this fight or flight response and move forward with releasing ourselves from the golden handcuffs we are tied to?
Here are 5 ways that helped me release my handcuffs:
- Career Clarity: Deep clarity around what you want from your career is vital in this process. The key areas to spend time gaining clarity on are – your core skills, strengths, the people you want to serve, personal interests along with interests towards a certain field or industry, what activity at work do you want to spend majority of your time on etc. Sometimes this process is not easy to do and this is where a coach could be highly helpful in facilitating the process for you in a structured manner.
- Purpose/Calling : Some people feel that they are born to do a certain thing or serve a certain set of people. If you have this sense of purpose and calling, that could be the reason for the unrest you feel. Your inner need to fulfil your purpose is not met in your physical reality and this gap causes you to feel stuck. Knowing if you have a purpose/calling that calls out to you could be another eye opener to help you release your handcuffs.
- Achievement : Answer these questions –
- When you are 90 and look back, what would you like your career to have been like?
- What would you want to have achieved?
- Is there a legacy in the work you do that you want to leave behind?”
This can again help in identiying the gap that your current career trajectory is on vs where you want it to be.
- Mindset shift : Majority of folks are risk-averse. I was too for a long time. It took me a couple years to change my mindset around taking risks in my career/work. I was holding on to the small picture and to the day-to-day daily comforts in my career. I was scared to look at what’s outside. What if, I did not have the flexibility?what if, I did not have XXX, What if I need to prove myself all over again? What if I can’t do the new job etc…Conditioning my mind to think big, to open my mind to the positive possibilities not just the negative ones, did the trick. Read my post: How to empower and tune your mind to work through your mindset.
- Financial security: Build some kind of safety net while you explore your next options. Have 6 months of finances saved up to support you through your transition period. Knowing that you are not struggling for your daily needs gives you peace of mind and having a limited amount to support you urges you to move forward to your next destination.
Clarity around who you are and what you want from your life and career are key components that can help you release your handcuffs. Where you want to go may not be the destination but part of the journey. Opening your mind to these and other possibilities will take you places and help you release even the toughest of handcuffs. Leverage who you are and what you have done and use it as a guide to release your handcuffs.
What golden handcuffs are you tied to? How have you tried to release those cuffs?
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